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I am a stand-up comedian and spend most of my days writing jokes for my set and writing articles. I am trying to write more scripts and I am trying to get some time voice acting as well, but first I need to save money to get a good mic system.
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Here is two new articles:
Cowboys & Aliens 2? Maybe...
Cowboys & Aliens was the number one movie in sales last weekend making $36.4 million in gross sales. Even thought the movie was expected to make $40 million, many people are asking, is there going to be a sequel? The rumor mill is over flowing with guesses. We were able to get this piece of juicy information from anonymous source.
This anonymous source says there is a sequel in the works and that the storyline is already written. The sequel will take place in modern day Texas. A new group of aliens has come to this land for one thing only, money. Apparently what ever our money is made out of is a rare material where they come from. The aliens first seem peaceful and start taking small jobs to make money.
But then, some so called "cowboys" notice they are starting to take all the jobs on the market. The cowboys then set out to roundup all the aliens and send them back to where they came from. But some of the humans start working with them.
Some the humans from a political party start fighting for the aliens, saying they have rights just like the humans of this world do. Then other humans make trades with the aliens for drugs from the aliens' land, which just so happens to be very addictive to our kind.
We finally got our hands on what the sequel might be called. So far the sequel is being called Cowboys & Aliens 2: Planet Mexico.
This article was written for comedy purpose only and should not be taken to be in anyway true.
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The Stayover Relationship
The University of Missouri-Columbia has released a study stating, "an alternative to fully cohabiting couples are spending three of more nights together a week and still maintaining their own homes, which could help to explain recent U.S. census data that indicates people are getting married later." They are calling this the stayover relationship.
I believe this is due to the fact that women are getting smarter. It gives the women in the relationship time to train the men to give up their manhood and slowly move in without them noticing. By the time women train the men to put the toilet seat down, they have already moved in.
Men are giving up their man card without even noticing it. All we men notice is that we are getting laid about 2-3 times a week, and she is making comments about our place being mess and/or not putting the toilet seat down. Next thing you know there is 14 pair of shoes in our closet, 37 sets of dresses, and our DVD collection has been replaced with romantic comedies and the whole series of Sex in the City. If your friends came over for a beer, they probably think you decided to become a cross dresser.
Men, go check your closets. Make sure their are only 2 pillows on your bed, not 8. If you notice that there is something a mist, tell your women, "I piss standing up, so if you don't like it, make me a sandwich and leave."
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